12 Ways to Increasing Your Libido - The Couple Relationship

It?s normal in relationships, over time, for both men and women?s level of desire to fluctuate. There are some obvious life circumstances that may contribute to a change in libido, such as the birth of a child, illness or an experience of grief or depression. You may also need to rule out any medical conditions, but that aside, sometimes you can just lose interest for no apparent reason. It is a myth to think that men do not lose interest in sex; it is perhaps more common for women to have a decrease in sexual appetite, but it happens for men, also.

Before we start to investigate ways to increase your sexual desire, I think it?s important to first understand the difference between sexual desire and sexual arousal.

In most people who are not experiencing sexual problems, desire and arousal are closely related and difficult to separate. Desire refers to a baseline interest in sex and might be redefined as sexual appetite. Arousal refers to the physiological response to sexual stimuli. People with higher desire and libidos generally have a greater response to sexual stimuli, or greater arousal. Physical manifestations of sexual arousal include vaginal lubrication and increased blood flow to the genitals. ?This article focuses on ideas to help you increase your desire, sexual appetite, sex drive or libido, whatever you choose to call it.

Libido Enhancement

1. Eat for your libido! ? Warming and pungent, these foods can help motivate the body?s fire energy: chicken broth, garlic, onion, scallion, leek, chives, ginger, cinnamon, fennel, cardamom, anise, turmeric, cayenne pepper, black pepper, and horseradish.

Deep-sea and cold-water fish, including halibut, salmon, sardines and shellfish, can increase libido by improving overall sexual health with their high concentrations of essential omega fatty acids.

2. Get physical ? Physical activity has been clinically proven to improve sexual health. Thirty minutes of daily walking, jogging, and other cardio exercise can be combined with Tai Chi or Qigong for effective results. Kegel exercises can help strengthen the lower pelvic muscles and help prevent prostate problems in men and incontinence in women.

3. Get adventurous ? Recent research shows that partaking in new and challenging experiences both in and outside the bedroom with your partner can boost the brain chemical dopamine, which helps fuel sex drive.

4. Go holistic ? About 25% of women receiving acupuncture in one study reported more interest in sex while many also reported more energy and clearer thinking. Why not try some other healings, such as Reiki or massage, to remove sexual blocks and increase relaxation?

5. Take a break from alcohol ? Even a week off the booze can boost your desire and your performance.

6. Take a break from penetration; instead, focus on creating intimacy ? Read about the 12 types of intimacy here.

7. Increase physical affection ? Spending time each day giving skin-on-skin contact boosts oxytocin levels and makes you feel not only closer to your partner but more relaxed around sex with them (more about this in next week?s article).

8. Celebrate each other?s achievements ? It is important to acknowledge the important events in each other?s lives. With a card or a word or a meal out, celebrating in one way can make you feel like celebrating in other ways!

9. Fantasise more ? Thinking about sex will boost your need for it and ? particularly for her ? make you more likely to initiate it.

10. Change your perspective ? Think about sex like gift giving. Do you enjoy giving and receiving gifts? Bring that same intention to your sexual relationship. Instead of thinking about sex as giving something, reframe the experience into receiving something from your partner. Before sex, during it ? or even at intervals during the day ? tell yourself that your desire is high. Use mantras such as ?I really want sex and I really enjoy it? to pre-program your mind to pleasure.

11. Start off by being relaxed ? Research suggests that the more you switch off your mind, the higher your desire will be. To get as relaxed as possible, try massage leading into foreplay.

12. Become mindful ?? Make sure you are truly present with the experience and not allowing your mind to drift off. Instead, heighten your awareness; feel, touch, smell, taste and see all that is happening around you. Become fully engaged with your partner on all levels.

Next week we will focus specifically on re-introducing physical affection into your relationship. Sometimes if you haven?t had sex for a while you also stop all forms of physical affection because you don?t want your partner to think this will lead to sex. This is damaging to a relationship and can lead to emotional disconnection. Next week you will be given a process to help you re-introduce physical affection into your relationship in a safe and supportive way.

Sources

Susan Quilliam is the author of The New Joy of Sex, published by Mitchell Beazley.

Surprising Ways to Increase Your Sex Drive, by Dr Maoshing Ni

Female Sexual Dysfunction: Increasing Sexual Desire and Arousal, by Tracee Cornforth

Source: http://www.thecouplerelationship.com/web/?p=2171

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